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"So that's why I heard all that screaming the other day when I was playing that surgery game on my phone while in the hospital waiting room." --- Bo Gus

New "Surgery App" Improves Doctor's Golf Game

 "Spending so much time in the operating room was really hurting my golf game," complained Doctor Faye Koffman.  "How am I supposed to tour with the LPGA one day with all these people needing cancer and stuff cut out of them all the time?" 

Naturally, science had to step in and solve this horrific problem.  While being touted as a way to make surgery as minimally invasive as possible, and more accurate by removing the human factor, robotic surgery is really all about golf.

Enter the new Surgery App now available for download. 

"With this app," explains Dr. Denny Rillman, director of research and development for the new app, "doctors can program and direct the robotic arms, lingering menacingly above patients strapped to an operating table with no one else in the room, from anywhere with cell service - including golf courses!"

"There were a few unfortunate events before we made the app only available for doctors to download," Dr. Rillman explained.  "And we have since required doctors to have a solid 4G connection with their phone before using the app to make incisions."

"Still, the app has proven to be very successful in at least 90% of cases when doctors waited until they stopped their golf carts before sending instructions through the app."

"I think this is a brilliant breakthrough!" Dr. Koffman exclaimed.  "I can now spend more time on the golf course, my patients get better service, somehow, I guess, I don't know, and I don't even have to wash my hands anymore - except from responsibility.  I definitely wash my hands of that."

--- reporting from the back 9, and never planning on going to the hospital again,  this is Bo Gus, with The "Bo Gus" News.

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