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The "Bo Gus" News

"You find a genie and the first thing you do is go hire a lawyer?  Honestly, that may just be the most intelligently stupid thing I've ever heard of." --- Bo Gus

Attorney Helps Man With Genie To "Foolproof" His Wishes

California attorney Rip Offman reports helping a client to "foolproof" the three wishes he was recently granted by a genie.  

"My client was quite concerned about wording his wishes very specifically," Offman explained.  "It seems he's seen too many movies and television shows and read too many stories where those engaging in genie wishing have their poorly worded wishes come back to inflict undue damage upon them.

"For instance," Offman continued.  "A man wishes to be desired by all women but instead of becoming the sexual idol he imagined, he gets turned in to a designer handbag full of chocolate bars.

"Or, a man wishing to experience ultimate power has his wish granted by being struck simultaneously by both a lightning bolt and an nuclear missile.

"Or, a boy wishing for all the money in the world, gets it.  Yet whenever he tries to spend it, the money simply won't leave his possession because he wished for ALL the money in the world."

When asked about what the man wished for, Offman had this to say.

"In layman's terms, he wanted immortality, ultimate wealth and power, and sexual access to any and all women that he desired.  What else would a man ask for?  Of course, it took me a total of 937 pages to fully describe all the details of these ultimate desires, making them completely foolproof.  Make no mistake, if granted, these wishes will make this man the ultimate human being in our world."

Concerned, about this possibility, I asked Offman's opinion as to whether the man's wishes will actually be granted.

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about it," Offman responded.  "The man's genie was a garage door opener.  Still, I made $7000 off him, so who cares?'

--- reporting from the hardware store, ready to buy my own genie, just in case it actually works,  this is Bo Gus, with The "Bo Gus" News.

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