Once upon a time... actually this story was far too
short to make it all the way "up on" a time, so rather...
Once next to a time, the most beautiful girl in all the
world was walking along a path near a creek. As the beautiful girl
walked along the path….
Wait, wait, wait…
You don’t get it. This girl was beautiful!
Truly beautiful! So beautiful dormant flowers bloomed as she came
near. Gold nuggets rose from the depths of the creek bottom to
sparkle on the surface in tribute to her presence. Trees and
shrubs cleared the path before her lest she stumble on a branch or a
hidden root. The very air surrounding her turned crystalline as
she passed, diamonds clogging her nostrils, nearly killing her.
Stupid air. Well, you get the point, she was truly incredibly
Anyway, as the insanely awesome, choking on diamonds,
truly incredibly beautiful girl walked along the path, there approached
three brothers. The brothers, stunned and exhilarated by her
Wait, wait, wait….
You don’t get that either. The brothers, went
loopy in her presence, and I mean loopy, as in a stumbling, stammering,
blithering idiot kind of loopy! Naturally, they also got very
excited and desirous to make themselves known to the beautiful girl.
Why is that? I mean, why do guys do that?
“Oh look, a beautiful a girl! I’ll turn raving, lunatic mad in
her presence and then decide that now, during my lunacy, is the perfect
time to introduce myself!” Brilliant feature of the male mind,
let me tell you.
So, as the insanely awesome, now recovered from the
diamond choking, exquisitely, incredibly, amazingly beautiful girl…
all right, all right, I think you get the point. She was hot.
Anyway, so as the beautiful girl walked along the path,
the first of the three brain fried brothers stepped forward to speak to
"Hot damn!” he yelled. “That's one sweet little
sugar cookie!" (Like I said… moron.)
He then approached her and started making other
ridiculous comments such as, "Baby, you're so hot, I could fry an
egg on your forehead, cook the bacon on your belly, and warm the
biscuits on your backside!" and "Damn girl, with you
around, I could cancel my Playboy subscription!" (Ya, BIG
He went on (and on, and on) but I’ll spare you from
suffering through further details of his stupidity.
Naturally, the beautiful girl, undoubtedly used to such
fool behavior, took a brick out of her hand bag and proceeded to “thunk”
the first brother so hard he spun wildly away into the creek where he
landed with a thud and swallowed a frog. (Frog swallowing moron!
Ha, ha, ha!)
The second brother, smarter than the first, a little bit
anyway, approached more cautiously, putting on his motorcycle helmet
before he started making a fool of himself. However, he also let
his lunacy rule him as he made comments like "My dear in all your
fine beauty, I'd bet even your farts blow fair!" and "Set the
bees free! I done found me the ultimate source of honey!"
(Sad. Pitiful, really.)
Well, with the helmet and all, the brick didn't lay him
out quite so badly, nor did he swallow any frogs upon landing in the
creek. However, I believe he did get some worms stuck in his
visor. (Worm infested sadness. Pitiful worm infested sadness
even. Wow, that’s bad!)
The third brother, infinitely more intelligent than the
others, approached the beautiful girl slowly, and quietly gave her both a
blooming flower and a dandelion, loaded with seeds ready to be scattered
by the wind. (Ahhhh…)
The beautiful girl, intrigued by the different approach
of this brother, tucked her brick back into her handbag, and curiously
asked what the dandelion and the flower were for.
"The dandelion I give you that we may sit side by
side and together make a wish,“ the third brother offered. “Then,
with our combined breath we shall easily be able to blow the dandelion
seeds away and our wishes will come true.” (Oh, so
touching. Maybe he won’t end up in the creek?)
"The flower I give you in apology," he then
added. (Uh-oh, this doesn’t look good. Maybe he will end
up in the creek.)
Smiling at the idea of the wish, the beautiful girl
seated herself on the grassy bank of the creek and asked the third
brother to join her. Together, they then closed their eyes, made
their wishes, and scattered the dandelion seeds easily away. The
girl smiled at him, liking the quiet manner of this man she had just
met. Suddenly, however, she remembered the flower.
"Why do you give me the flower as an apology?"
she asked. "Is it for the actions of your idiotic
"No," the third brother answered,
humbly. "It's because if my wish comes true, those two morons
are going to be your brothers-in-law."
The beautiful girl laughed, but then knocked the third
brother into the creek anyway, where he landed with a splash and
swallowed a fish. (Still, something tells me she actually liked
the third brother. I mean, heck, she didn't even use the