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The Fat Blob Incident
Includes 20 Full Length Feature Articles plus Bonus Bits and Short Jokes
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Rockin' My Country
Lyrical teases, taunts, and "Bo Gus" News
Country's Top 10
(from Billboard issue May 2, 2009)
-
Rodney Atkins --- It's America
-
Rascal Flatts - Here Comes Goodbye
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Jason Aldean --- She's Country
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Carrie Underwood --- I Told You So
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Tim McGraw - Nothin' To Die For
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Sugarland --- It Happens
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Jake Owen -- Don't Think I Can't Love You
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Darius Rucker -- It Won't Be Like This For Long
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Keith Urban --- Kiss A Girl
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Brad Paisley --- Then
Country Commentary
It's Carrie! Not Billy Or Randy
When I first heard Carrie Underwood's new single "I Told You So" I
immediately thought, "Oh my Gosh! Billy Gillman is back!"
But then the DJ told me it was indeed Carrie Underwood not the high fluted
wailings of a pre-adolescent boy and so I realized my mistake.
Of course, then I also realized that if Billy Gillman had returned he would be all grown up and no longer sound like a girl, hopefully anyway, and so I put that strange thought to rest.
My next thought, however, was a weird one as well. I thought, "Man, I hate this song!"
But why did I hate this song? I mean, I'd only just barely heard it. Later, however, I realized that "I Told You So" was an old Randy Travis song and suddenly, it all became clear.
Fortunately, I have since been able to overcome my initial reactions and now enjoy the song for what it is, Carrie Underwood singing more slow, boring stuff just like she always does.
Oh, I'm just kidding, it's a good song. Congrats to Carrie for saving it from the nasal whining of Randy Travis --- and for not being Billy Gillman. Go Carrie!
Girlie Boy To Play Tim McGraw In A Movie
Justin
Timberlake has been cast to play Tim McGraw in an upcoming movie about Tim's life. (click
here to read the news article about it)
You know, in the old days you had to be dead before they made a movie about you. Hmmm. Tim, are you OK?
Anyway, Tim McGraw gets to watch himself in a movie! What an experience that's going to be, eh, Tim? Getting to watch girlie boy extraordinaire Justin Timberlake pretend to be you?
Yeah. Let me know when you get your lawsuit filed, OK, Tim?
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Life Is Fair
"Life Is Fair. There I said it. Now everyone shut up and play nice."
The "Bo Gus" Country News
Infiltrating
the world of country music like a nasty flu virus in order to bring you in
depth coverage of news no one else is brave enough to report.
(possibly because it tends to be somewhat unverified and potentially
libelous --- although that never stopped any network television reporter
so why should it stop me?)
--- This is Bo Gus with The "Bo
Gus" Country News
Rascal
Flatts Hair Gel Product Launch Scrapped
After months of preparation, marketing executives at Veevoo Hair Products have decided to halt introduction of a Rascal Flatts hair gel that was originally set to hit the markets this spring.
Veevoo marketing director Hank Stiffhair relates the difficulties surrounding production of the gel that led to the decision.
"It's not that the new Rascal Flatts hair gel isn't a good product. In fact, it is. The Rascal Flatts boys themselves use it all the time and swear by it. And with the Flatt boys always running around with their "carved out of wood" looking hair locked in place by the gel, marketing it would have been a snap.
"The problem is the Rascal Flatts members themselves use so much of the hair gel, we just don't feel we'd be able to keep up with production if we were to offer it for sale to the public as well.
"I mean, our six factories running 24/7 can only produce so much, you know?"
Veevoo is now looking into the possibility of opening a seventh factory in anticipation of Gary LeVox growing his hair out a bit longer. If the additional factory can boost production enough, depending on just how long Gary grows his hair, the company may then take another look at offering the Rascal Flatts hair gel to the pubic.
"Bo Gus" Commentary: You know, their hair gel is good stuff. Why, the other day when the Flatt boys were over to the house playing hoops, I ended up with seven or eight slivers from Joe Don's hair after I plucked a rebound from out of it.
Hopefully, Veevoo will eventually offer the product for sale because you know, I think it would work great to replace the mortar on those loose bricks in my fireplace."
Reporting from
somewhere outside Nashville (because they won't let me in anymore for some
reason). --- this is Bo Gus
with The "Bo Gus" Country News.
"Check out my six-pack abs"
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Copyright © 2009 JoeHumor.com, Joe Bingham.
All Rights Reserved Worldwide. All content on
this site is 100% original and written by me, Joe Bingham, for the
express purpose of entertainment and fun. At no time is anything
intended to offend, insult, or otherwise enrage anyone. If you
find yourself upset or otherwise ticked off, relax, I'm just freakin'
kidding, OK? Don't take things so seriously. "Life IS a
joke, why not laugh at it?" Please just enjoy yourself and
let me attempt to enrich your life with a little more fun and a lot more
laughs. Thanks for reading --- Joe
